With Abandon
by ExperimentalSubject
Summary: In the sort of universe where everyone is alive, they get happily drunk together.


Because the PSiionic is too easy for me to write about, and if you tell me Roxy and Psiionic wouldn't be the two to do drunk programming together, you're lying to me.

'Written at the speed of light in a fit of procrastination.

* * *

For a girl who would describe herself as a "woman of spontaneity", Roxy Lalonde can be incredibly predictable at times. For example, on the second Saturday of every month (it has to be the second, she told Sollux once, laughing, because the quirks of the Captor family amuse her), Roxy arrives at precisely 7:37 PM, barges in after knocking precisely twice and waiting for no answer (she knows where the key is anyways), and says precisely the same phrase ("Hey Kittycats, where's your hot dad at?") to the two inhabitants of the small house. She also gets precisely the same response, for Mituna invariably looks up from whatever is preoccupying him, laughs, and inquires as to when she and Psiionic will fuck, which is a statement Roxy merely laughs at for its sheer impossibility, then kisses Mituna on the cheek for making her laugh. Sollux waits until that ritual is done, then informs the visitor that the troll she is looking for is neither hot nor his dad, and he is also in the basement, just like he is every second Saturday at 7:37 PM. Roxy sashays downstairs, taking the bottle of vodka out of her purse (which she always has with her on these outings), and yelling the same greeting she always does, which is "Oi Psii, drag your skinny ass out here, we're going out."

He invariably complies with enthusiasm, and they make an odd couple striding jauntily down the street, a young woman in a short, pink dress who would look better placed in an expensive nightclub, paired with an extraordinarily tall and skinny troll who wouldn't fit anywhere and is dressed like he just woke up to put on the first thing he saw (which is likely, although the woman he calls Rosa is slowly teaching him to dress himself properly). Oftentimes, the location they find themselves heading to is a small park where they watch the stars ascend and talk about constellations and love and cookies while they trade swigs of vodka and whatever else they brought (for their company is incomplete without alcohol as a third party).

After a point, usually in a few hours, they lie on their backs with an empty bottle (or two, depending on the difficulty of their week and complexity of their conversational topic) between them, and make the decision to make inadvisable decisions. They both have a remarkable alcohol tolerance, and are not as drunk as most would be after half a bottle of vodka each, but their concept of consequences is exhilaratingly dull and they use this to its fullest.

The next half hour finds them stumbling back into the Captor household, with Roxy waving a slurred greeting to Sollux, who has yet to sleep, and won't until about 5 AM. He simply nods, for he is used to this and there's more interesting things online, and they pass by without further comment. The pair ends up in Psiionic's room, which is less a room and more a pile of computers and wires and what might be a bed and dresser off in the corner. From there, they open their project from the last time and set about completing it while taking turns drinking from a bottle of honey whiskey grabbed from the counter. On this particular day, they do, and result with a surprisingly practical programming language they decide to name Mutie after a few shared jokes. Considering a number of the add-ons are, in all honesty, added because they "thought it would be funny", its usefulness is dubious, even to their currently impaired thought processes. In order to test it, they decide the logical answer is to write a website in it, and the website they pick to rewrite is the blog belonging to the unfortunate younger brother of Roxy's close friend, Dirk Strider.

At approximately 4 AM, they deem themselves finished, and share a laugh and high-five before they push their chairs back and Roxy is walked home by her companion, who laughs and obliges when she stands on the doorstep and asks for a 'palefriends kiss'. She then goes inside, satisfied at a night well spent, only to awaken later at the annoyed buzzing of her phone as the youngest Strider inquires as to what the everloving pissfuck happened to his website as he slept and why he can't remove the code for the animated mutant cats bounding around the corners of the text. She just laughs good-naturedly and resolves to tell Psiionic their program was successful when she next sees him.

A month later, the cycle repeats itself with just enough variation to keep them happy, and they continue on in a spontaneously predictable pattern for the rest of their easily foreseeable future.


End file.
